Car Dealerships Love Lazy People

Here’s what annoys me:

The fact that most people choose to advertise for their car dealership… without compensation!

Do you realize that you are allowed to remove that "Milford Volvo" license plate bracket from the back of your car?  Or do you enjoy providing free advertising to the people that scammed you out of hundreds or thousands of dollars?

The Ooine Guide to Reclaiming Your Dignity

1) Go get a screwdriver.
2) Unscrew that license plate bracket.
3) Place bracket in a large envelope with an address and a couple stamps.
4) Include a note that says "Not unless you pay me."
5) Mail it to the dealership.

Or… for a streamlined experience, omit steps 3 through 5 and substitute these alternate steps:

3a) Place bracket in trashcan.
4a) Spit on bracket.

And for those extra tricky dealerships that stick those wonderful Plasti-Chrome letters on the back of your car, follow these steps:

1) Go get some thin monofilament (fishing line).
2) Go get a bottle of GooBeGone (that stuff rules).
3) Slide monofilament under letters in a sawing motion.
4) Apply GooBeGone to vehicle to remove residue.
5) Grind fallen letters into pavement with heel of boot.

There, problem solved.  I’m less annoyed and the car dealers are crying.  Thank you!